Overwhelming Sadness and yet there is still HOPE....

"This day, Lord, is Thy gift of grace,
Wherein I may discern Thy face!
The sunbeams quivering on a tree
Reveal Thy constant care for me;
This glad, green earth, the blue above,
May tell the wonders of Thy love.


But oh, dear Lord, lest blind my eyes
Should grow to Thy wide-lifting skies,
To all Thy gifts of earth and sea, Lord keep Thy loving hand on me;
Lest as I journey on my way 
I miss the glories of each day!"
--R.S.C




Today started fairly normal, Peter who was not feeling well the night before had slept in my bed; he woke me up with his smile at about 7. Though that is the best way to wake up the morning quickly turned into a parade of "ah ah's" and "stop's," all becoming more frustrated as the hours went on. 


We were ready for church earlier than usual (and I even spent 30 minutes on my hair!) so I went to Fry's to grab some Boogie Wipes then discovering the weather I went back to change my outfit. Oh I forgot to mention I was impatient with the self check out machine because I was in a hurry to be on time to church.


In case you are wondering why I was in a hurry, we celebrated some member's babtisms today.


On the way to church I call my mom to see if she can take PK for me because he is obviously exhausted and not in the best mood- not wanting to subject the wonderful ladies at Access Church to him I dropped him with my mom. 


(I want to point out that already this morning I've worried about my clothing, my hair, gotten mad at my son, and taken out my frustrations of pushing the wrong button on the self-checkout machine out on the nice Fry's lady...)


The reason my morning matters in this important story is because I got to church expecting a celebration of people openly displaying their love for Christ, a couple of laughs as our Pastor speaks, and questions like hey "Where's Peter today?"   Oddly enough, considering what I'm about to share, I got more out of this Sunday than I could ever have dreamed.


You know how when you walk in or out of church the yummy snacks magically appear? Well they don't. People like Kathleen Petrotta go early to church to put it out for you and stay late to put it away, simply to serve members of Christ's body. Kathleen died yesterday, in a car accident many have heard about on the news. 


What I'm sure they didn't hear is that Kathleen was one of the most beautiful people I've ever met and she was a beloved of Jesus. Her smile and demeanor welcomed you every morning, immediately inspiring you to joy and praise of our Savior, King, and Father. 


About a month and a half ago, before Jared was leaving for San Antonio, she gave us a gift because she couldn't make it to his going away party. It was incredibly thoughtful, the gift  was a beautiful frame for me and 2 smaller magnet frames for Jared to put in his locker during training. I can say honestly that I was so surprised that she would do that for us because I barely knew her. We had only been going to Access for about 2 months previously. 
Even though it had been 2 months since our introduction she remembered my name, even though I didn't remember hers.... that kills me right now. After she gave me the gift I made a point to thank her and continued to chat with her on the Sundays to follow. I definitely felt loved like a sister when we talked, and the feeling was mutual for me. She was easy to be honest with.  The thing that kills me most of all is that I can't remember if I said hi to her last Sunday.... I know she was there, I saw her after service, but did I say hello? Did I give her a hug, did I thank her for what she was doing???? I don't think I did.


Today Peter, her husband, brought the bagels at 7:15, just like she normally did. This is my biggest lesson today folks, he brought the bagels! He continued her work!


While Rance (pastor) was speaking he said that we arn't crying for Kathleen, we are crying for our loss, her family's loss.... we are blessed to read about Jesus, but she IS looking at His face!!! Kathleen was met with celebration at the golden gates, how cool for her to see our church members babtized in heaven, I'm sure she celebrated with the angels.


And Peter was there, his strength was like a fountain that flowed on the rest of us. Can you imagine that? Less than 24 hours into the death of your most beloved,  and we are being brought up by HIS strength. As one of the ladies who served with Kathleen was thanking Peter for his strength he responded, "It's not mine, it's God's, I wouldn't be here right now without His strength."


I was glad to hear that Kathleen felt truly valued-in her marriage and by her God. I'm so glad she got to understand that before being called home. I'm so glad that Peter knows that God has plans for him. I'm glad that our congregation celebrated the believers who proclaimed Christ as their Savior today as well as our dear sister being called home. It was the best babtism I've ever been a part of and I cried the whole time....


God's joy and strength and grace is REAL, I saw it in Peter and in all the lives that are now forever changed by Kathleen's example and by the legacy she has left for us. That's why I'm blogging about today. I want people to know that she was celebrated and she is HOME, for eternity and that she would want everyone to know the same faith she did. I pray that I will and that's why I end with this prayer:


"Thank God I'm alive!
That the skies are blue, 
That a new day dawns 
For me and for you.
The sunlight glistens
On field and on tree,
And the house wren sings
To his mate and to me;
The whole world glows
With heavenly glee!


I know there are heart-aches,
A world full of strife,
But thank God, O thank God,
Thank God just for life!"


Thank you Kathleen for showing us faith through your life. Thank you for being a servant.
Thank you God for letting me know this woman, I can't wait to see you both, but until I'm called, I hope to be a little more like Kathleen.


*Please pray for her family and that people would be reached by her story to come to know Christ! AMEN*